I've always been told to live in the moment. To take every day one step at a time. I get told this almost everyday, yet I still find myself spending most of my time daydreaming about the future.
If I'm not eating, or doing schoolwork, or having a conversation with someone, chances are I'm daydreaming about my future. But to me, the weirdest thing is that I daydream about different futures depending on my mood. Sometimes I'm a couple years older and in a relationship, or sometimes I'm in my thirties with kids. All of these stories of how my life could turn out.
I often think about things I want to do in my life. The people I want to be around, the goals I want to accomplish, and the general over my head dreams that I have. And almost all of my daydreams are plausible (except maybe becoming a kpop star, but hey ya never know.) I could be a writer, or a singer, or an actress, or even a psychologist, if I really put all of my effort into it, really anything is possible. But I think what's scary are the steps leading up to those dreams and goals.
What's scary for me, is putting myself out there, while also trying to balance high school, and some sort of a social life. As much as this blog is enjoyable for me, I often feel like it's going nowhere. But I know that I can't give up no matter how little the number of page views is. And I think the scariest thing (for me at least) is judgement and rejection from those close to me. I would love to upload videos, of me being funny, or ranting, or singing, but I get so scared of what one or two people will say. But it's important to let yourself be heard.
This post was kind of a mess, but thank you for sticking through it.
todays words if wisdom from my brain:
The present may be boring, but it's the stepping stone to the future. If you practice your craft today, you'll be that much better tomorrow.
