First, my palms will be sweaty.
Second, my knees will quiver.
Third, my breathing gets a little funky.
Before I speak, I'll take a big gulp of saliva to ensure I do not spit on whoever I'm talking to.
I'll say something; I'm not sure whether I mess up what I said because I erase it from my memory as soon as it's over.
When it's time to part ways, I'll probably say something stupid or trip on my own foot.
Due to my extreme embarrassment over a comment the other person already forgot about, and the fact that I didn't let myself produce spit that entire time, I'm dying for water (and probably a pat on the back.)
At this point I've sweated,l a lot (probably too much for a normal human encounter.)
My heart is probably pounding so hard that I can hear it in my head.
And you might ask me "you okay."
But I'll lie and say "yeah, it's just hot."
Maybe you can't tell, but it's there. It's there when I talk on the phone with people I don't know, when I order at a place I've never been to, or when I try to get people to like me. I'm not making it up as an excuse. It's there, and it's awful. And I can't just do stuff for it to magically go away. I'm trying, I'm really REALLY trying. Sorry if that's not good enough.
(I would like to note that I am self diagnosed. I know others have it worse than I do. I kinda just wrote this to validate my own feelings for myself.)
