Sometimes I like to picture myself as one. Other times I'm training for the Olympics. Often I'm training to fight for glory and freedom in an epic battle. One time I was pretending to be exercising in front of my favorite celebrity. I've found that thinking of preparing yourself for a zombie apocalypse also works pretty well.
But usually I picture myself where I am, laying on my trainers home gym floor, unearthly sounds spilling from my mouth. Sweat dripping down my neck and face. It hurts, but it's a good hurt. The kind of hurt you feel after completing your middle school mile; you're the last one finished, you walked more than half of it, and you kinda wanna punch your P.E. teacher for pushing you too hard. But even though you feel like you're about to throw up, you get this sensational rush over your whole body, and you almost don't want to stop.
I always hated P.E. I guess I thought I was lazy and nonathletic and didn't think I had the energy. I was usually one of the last three people to finish running, my best mile time was 10 minutes, and I definitely did not like the way my stomach bounced when I ran. In fact, my stomach bounced more than my boobs did and for someone who has as much pride as I do in my self image, that was really hard for me. Because of my body fat, I hated (and still hate) exercising in front of people. Even dancing in front of people is embarrassing, and I love dancing.
Once I left school, it was no longer mandatory for me to exercise, sooo I didn't. I gained a visible amount of weight, but was too insecure to lose it (this in turn caused me to gain more weight.) I would try and lose the weight but it was too hard for me. I tried crunches, planks, leg lifts, weights, push ups, etc. But once I failed a couple times at one thing I would get frustrated and stop, because I gave up, exercising often ended in crying.
I've told this story before in another post, but I think it's important to hear. If you're struggling with your self image right now, don't give up. I still am struggling, but I've started seeing a physical change. I can't help but smile when my abs are sore for more than three days. It's so hard to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but once you do it is SO worth it. And who knows, maybe one day you'll inspire someone just like you.
~YOU ARE WORTH YOUR OWN HAPPINESS~
